Turning off phones for flights

November 4th, 2013

I would like to take a few minutes to celebrate the newly-granted ability to use electronic devices all the way through a flight.

No longer will we be threatened with legal action if we've left our phone on. No longer are we in danger of bringing down entire airliners with a mere flick of an iPhone.

I'm not one to mince words anyway, but I'm really not going to mince words here.

The fact that it was ever illegal anyway is one of the dumbest manifestations of legal retardation to ever curse our lives, and the fact that people used to succumb to that rule and consider it a safe, practical, and worthy law to abide by is wholly stupid.

Here's a secret, though. I've flown forty or fifty individual flights in the past few years and I've not once turned my phone off for takeoff or landing.

Now that the FAA has established the fact that it's perfectly okay to wield iPhones during flight, I have three questions.

1) Was I endangering anybody by leaving my phone on?

If I was, 2) how did it suddenly become safe?

If I wasn't, 3) why would I have been subject to some federal offense if I'd been found out?