Go crazy with the Cheez Whiz

June 25th, 2011

Safety is vanilla.

I don't want to condone carelessness or inattention or immaturity or stupidity: those traits are different burritos entirely.

Safety is indecision, and compliance, and analysis, and eventually paralysis. It's ants in a line. It's the hive mentality. It's the American Dream. It's watching reality TV on a Friday night.

You can go your entire life without seeing how fast your car goes, or having a drunk redneck attack you, or having a sledge hammer ready to swing in defense, or climbing rooftops, or dropping Drano bombs in porta-potties, or prank calling the government's quit-smoking hotline.

Safety is vanilla.

Go crazy with the Cheez Whiz.