November 21st, 2018

For two weeks in college, I was the lead guitarist of a two-person metal band named Silversaurus. We were terrible.

A third person desperately wanted to join the band, but we already had two guitarists and didn't need a third.

We asked him what he could play, and he said he could play guitar.

Sitting in the floor of a dorm room strewn with old socks, he sort of managed to strum out a power chord. He was even more terrible than us. We agreed we didn't need another bad guitarist.

"I can beatbox," he insisted.

We turned up the distortion and shredded some sick riffs while he beatboxed. It was very terrible. He salivated all over the place. We didn't let him join Silversaurus.

We only performed three times, if you count the two practice sessions.

Campus security showed up and told us to take our amps home.